What To Do When Your Style Changes
Cringing at past you is inevitable— until it isn't.
I received this question on an early post about “tasteful nudes”:
“can you do a post on what to do when your style has changed? I used to be heavy into the maximalist, Asian influence, bright colors and now I’m more into neutral/French. Do I sell it all and start over or incorporate it?”
This takes me back to my sophomore year of high school. Bear with me.
At my high school in Nashville, we received keycards every year with that year’s yearbook photo on it. I vividly remember receiving my updated sophomore year keycard, holding it next to my freshman year keycard, and guffawing with my friends at the doughy, bang-less, unsophisticated girl I was the year before.
This pattern continued for damn near a decade. I was racing towards womanhood at such an unnecessary, breakneck speed, that every time I looked back, my last frame of reference was miles away. This is normal in adolescence, I think. 16-year-old You thinks 15-year-old You was so jejune. But we hope that at, say, 39, we’ve taken enough shape as to not mortify our future 40-year-old-self.
Okay, so back to your question. You based your whole bedroom around a massive Murakami print in 2017, or replaced all your living room furniture with bouclé in 2020, and now you want to burn the place down.
Go ahead and forgive yourself for moving through an era (putting it nicely), or falling victim to a trend (putting it plainly). It’s natural. But as we get older and the revolving door of roommates slows to a halt, and we’re not moving home for the summer, and we’re not finding our true sartorial selves during a semester abroad anytime soon, we hope that we don’t have to clear house and start over in our aesthetic identity every 18 months or so. But aiming for “timelessness” is a fools errand because: 1) what we are sold as “timeless” changes every few years and 2) the truly “timeless” is the nondescript (your Helveticas, your pearl stud earrings), and boring in large doses.
That said, I can name two antidotes for my past-self-icks: the functional and the personal. The things that serve a purpose, and the the things that tell your story.
The Functional
These are pieces that you don’t need to look “cool”, because they serve a purpose beyond taste signaling. For me, these pieces are my ink-stained oversized canvas bag from college, my perfect-for-hosting couch, my Rachel Comey Elkin jeans that may or may not look actually bad on me, and my guitar that I always keep out just in case I get the urge to write. You don’t think it’s aesthetic that I leave stacks of bright orange Lacie hard drives out on my desk? I don’t give a shit. I’m using them, and I think it’s cool that I’m doing something.
The Personal
Yes, you loved Murakami for a second there, but was it truly personal? Personal pieces are the ones that tie you back to your family, your heritage, your younger self, your higher calling. For me, it’s the oversized print of my Grandpa in a Mets cap, the prop trophy I kept from my senior thesis production, or the ceramic plate my best friend made and brought me from Michigan. You don’t think the picture of the old lady framed next to my bed is chic? Ok well, that’s Bubbie, so…who the hell are you?
Your style changed and you don’t know what to do about it. Go through your inventory and decide each piece’s spirit. Were you taste-signaling, or is it truly functional and/or personal? If it’s giving you the ick and is neither personal nor functional, I give you permission to sell it or donate it. As you rebuild, learn from your mistakes and don’t aim for “timeless”. After all, wasn’t a mason jar centerpiece, or hairpin leg side table sold to us as “timeless” not so long ago? And now, it feels like a calling card for 2015. Instead, make your tentpole and investment pieces the f’s and your p’s. My hope is that as we get older and our roots run deeper, every piece will be imbued with the same energy as mentioned above (I’m using my Lacie hard drives, why would I care if they’re “cool”?).
There are choices in life with longterm implications worth seriously considering; your accent chair or your thrifted costume jewelry are not among them. The only way to evolve your taste is to experiment. The functional and the personal are the guardrails that keep you from getting swept up in an aesthetic identity you’ll cringe at later. Remain skeptical of the “timeless” and hold tight to your f’s and your p’s. The rest are just mistakes worth making.
Thank you for being here.
Xo,
Talia
PS: The Paradiso Print is still available for pre-sale here. Limited stock remaining!
i'm cringing at myself from this morning
39 year old me is going to be cringing at 39 year old me and that's okay